confused?

hmm, actually these few days i keep saying tat i am feeling weird.. this is juz a convenient way of saying it.. actually i am feeling rather confused and kinda having the 进退两难 feeling。。。

well confused as in i dunno how i am to look at the issue now.. and since i cannot rightly say wat kinda rs i am in now.. i cannot decide what i could and should do.. on the other hand, sometimes i question whether wat i am doing is enuf, and at the other hand.. am i overdoing it? haiz.. dun realli know.. and i really quite troubled by it.. -_-... this is bad.. veri bad.. worry by not doing anything, chance of a lifetime (okok, meebe abit exaggerated) will slip away.. do too much scared later create too much stress and trouble on the girl... argh...

and there is still the prob of my recent poor appetite issue.. i realli need to resolve that.. i can feel i am getting a bit weaker these days.. it's true i do see some of the fats arnd my tummy and butt starting to reduce abit.. but.. that's not the way to slim down.. and i din do tat to slim down.. guess perhaps i shd visit a doc one of these days to get some 开胃药 or something.. and perhaps it is matters of the heart tat is causing me this.. who noes..? i dono... mmm

this is... some 难以形容地感觉。。。 haiz.....